May 2, 2003 Dear Friends, It’s been a long time since I wrote to you last. So much has happened, so little has happened, but right now, I am in shock from the news of my good friend Leslie. I’m not sure what to do right now, who to talk to, so I’m writing this letter, to my diary. It is so important that we tell one another how much we love them. Each person that we meet in life is a chance coincidence, and a unique encounter. Each person that we meet in life is a living, breathing, loving human being. We often forget that dimension, don’t we? It’s easier for us to categorize people and see their surfaces only, as suits and ties, as record company staff, as fans, as stars, as Americans, as Iraqis. We are all the same. We are all so weak and vulnerable, lonely, and sad. We are all twisted and sick, misunderstood and in pain. Yet we live for those moments of parting clouds and warm smiles. I believe that each encounter with another human being is a chance to create these moments, and am more convinced today than ever, that “breaking the ice” and disarming our fellow human beings of their fears and isolation is the key to letting us live in harmony. We should all be able to be ourselves, and connected at the same time. Leslie was beautiful, rich, talented, successful...we all adored him. I can’t imagine why he would, of all people, feel the desire to end that life. Yet at the same time, I can. It’s so easy to fall so subtly down into that black hole, to get consumed by the darkness, and before you realize what has happened, you’re trapped inside. We all know the darkness. It comes and it takes a hold of you, like you haven’t even got a say in the matter. It controls you. Every time I end up there, I am luckily pulled out by something, anything, and lo, I wake up as if from a dream. The darkness is gone without a trace, and I’m free. And in retrospect, I always find it funny how simple and easy it was to get out. It is simple, and a lot simpler, when you have people who are with you in your life. I’m not just talking about a wife, or a girlfriend, but more so about the guy who works the counter at the 7 eleven, the taxi driver, the guy behind me in line at customs...Each is a chance to help each other stay free and in touch with ourselves, to nourish the living, breathing, loving human beings inside the superficial shells of our bodies. Each is an opportunity for a parting cloud. We come into this world alone. We leave alone. But in the meantime, we are here together. Let’s try and function like a network, a team, a family, and communicate with one another, because each of us is a part of the whole.
These are my thoughts one day after Leslie took his own life. Leehom
亲爱的朋友们: 距离上次我写信给你们已经很久了,生活中或多或少的事情上演着,然而现在我对好朋友Leslie(张国荣)所发生的事感到震惊,我不知道现在该做些什么、和谁谈,所以我在我的日记里写下这封信。 向彼此表达对对方的爱是件很重要的事。我们在生活周遭遇到的每个人都是机缘巧合、独一无二的相遇,每个我们在生活中遇到的人都是有生命、有呼吸、充满爱的生命体,但我们常忘了这点,不是吗?对我们来说,将人分门别类、只看表面比较简单,于是人像衣装领带般,被分成了唱片公司员工、歌迷、明星,或者美国人、伊拉克人。 但我们都是一样的,我们都是如此脆弱、容易受伤害,如此孤独而又伤感。我们都会扭伤、生病、被误解或痛苦,然而我们也为了那些拨云见日的时刻和温暖的笑脸而活着。我深信每一次和他人的相遇,都是一次开创这些时刻的契机,而我也在今天更加深信「打破冷漠」、协助周遭亲友卸下恐惧与孤立,是让大家能和谐共存的关键。我们都应该在做自己的同时,也能和他人联系。 Leslie既完美、多金、有才华又有成就…我们都崇拜他。在所有人中,我实在无法想象为什么他会有轻生的念头,而在此时,我懂了。掉入黑暗的深渊、被黑暗吞蚀该有多容易,在你理解发生什么事之前,你已然身陷其中。我们都知道那样的黑暗,它突然来袭、攫住你,在你尚未看清一切时,它已然完全控制你。 每 |